Holy granny panties!  In midlife, we’re not ready for the grannies but we’ve graduated from thongs.  Putting a thong on the average 50ish bod is like dressing up a pork chop as a hot wing – it just doesn’t work!  And even young thangs don’t necessarily enjoy pulling a string from between the cheeks.  I don’t yet need something to hold my Depends in place, but I don’t want a plumb line where the sun don’t shine either! If you don’t enjoy having your butt flossed, but you do enjoy that lecherous look in your guy’s eyes, what to do?   I’ve personally been on an informal search for years, and I’ve got the microfiber, lace, and cotton rejects clogging my top drawer to prove it!  We all make the same mistake on this quest – standing around staring at the random panties for sale in random stores.  Go to BareNecessities.com and get the big picture – click on bikinis, briefs, et al and you can view just about every panty there is or ever was in one never-ending stream.  You’ve been around long enough to narrow down what will and won’t work on you, you’ve just never considered all the options at one time.  Online is the place to do this, and you can buy in stores if you prefer, once you’ve found your personal panty groove.
Make sure you buy the right size because there’re just fewer bulges when you do.  This is not the place to motivate yourself with smaller sizes!  I’ve always been a big fan of stretch lace and the Bali Invisible Elegance hi-leg brief is a beautiful example.  It is a low rise brief (under the belly button) under low rise jeans and exercise pants, a flattering and comfortable waistline choice.  The Jockey Modern Brief is another low rise goodie, in a great microfiber fabric with a tiny hint of boy-short legs.  These are not really “briefs” but what we used to call “hipsters,” and they’re a good compromise.  Bikinis are another good choice, covering the buttocks without binding the belly.  String or other barely-there sides are good because they don’t cause a bulge.  Hanky Panky with the wide stretch lace top or Vanity Fair My Favorite in 6 colors are great choices if you don’t want the grannies OR an all-day wedgie.  Stretchy camisole tops with matching hipsters is another smoothing new option.
There are those times when the fabled Iron Maiden undergarment is in order, and the all-over bathing suit type is probably best when “firm control” is just not enough.  The big choice here is molded cups or free style on top.  Another alternative is the high-waisted girdle panty, but make sure you try it on with your bra in case it doesn’t go all the way up and there’s a blob-over.  The obvious drawback here is that if there’s dancing and a hand on your midsection, your partner will know you’re encased in spandex.  Oh well, at least you’ll have a smooth line in the photos.